felt I’d do the same for you good people what so adore The Duke’s taste in cinema, but who can’t watch
the Region 1.
This, then, is The Duke’s Picks For September 2004 – UK Version
Incidentally, if you click on the titles or the covers, you can order these through Amazon.co.uk, and then
The Duke might get a hand-job or something by way of thanks
In case you didn’t know, Godard is something of a genius, is what. Sadly, no-one gives a toss about
anything not called A Bout De Souffé, which is why this 3-flick set is something of a blessing. Even if
everything else on it were shit (which it isn’t), the fact that this contains Alphaville means it’s essential
as eyelids. Alphaville, a brilliant Sci-Fi type affair, has been out of print in the United UK since as far back
as most anyone can be bothered thinking. Also in the set are Une Femme Est Une Femme and Le Petit
Soldat.
Jean Renoir Triple Set
If the Godard got you in the notion for some highbrow malarkey, then the next stop is obviously this set
here, offering three slices of cinema from Jean Renoir, including Officially One Of The Best Flicks Ever,
La Grande Illusion. You need to own this, is what The Duke would suggest. It’s also got La Bete Humaine
and Le Crime De Monsieur Lange.
Luis Bunuel Triple Set
If you only buy one of these boxes, though, The Duke would suggest going for this here. Bunuel was a
genius, is the truth of the matter, and if you haven’t saw Un Chein Andalou, his collaboration with
Salvador Dali, then it’s about time the situation was rectified. Unfortunately, it’s not included here, but
dry your eyes mate, like in the song by, I believe, The Prodigy, since it’s got Belle Du Jour, The Diary Of A
Chambermaid and The Milky Way to keep you occupied.
Shaun Of The Dead
The folks behind Spaced went ahead and made one of the best British flicks in a decade. Granted, it’s
not that difficult since most filmic output from The United UK has been diabolical, but even if everything
were as good as, say, Withnail And I, this would still be among the top 3%, I’m guessing. It’s a comedy
horror that manages to be both very funny and rather horrific, and is endlessly quotable. “You’ve got red
on you”. It’s kind of the British Braindead, although if these folks go on to have anything to do with
Hobbits, colour The Duke surprised as all fuck.
NOTE – If you order it here, you’ll get the special packaging exclusive to Amazon.
Teen Wolf / Teen Wolf Too
Finally, these wondrous slabs of teen angst and excessive facial hair are united. The first one had
Michael J Fox playing basketball, and the second had some other motherfucker doing a spot of the
boxing. Both are sure to induce orgasmic euphoria in anyone daring to view. They also made an
animated series, not included here, sadly.
The Untouchables – Special Edition
Some folks detest the work of Brian De Palma, but how many times have these folks sat down and
watched Carrie? About twice, I’m guessing, obviously not enough to realise it’s a masterpiece. “Don’t
touch those dirty pillows you fucking whore!!” This bout of gangster malarkey does little for me, to be
honest, but there are plenty who can’t get enough of the film about Kevin Costner runs around doing a
spot of the investigating, and then Robert De Niro is all fat for a while. Extras involve a whole bunch of
the featurettes and documentaries and what have you.
I’ve yet to see this flick by Alejandro González Iñárritu, but his previous work, Amores Perros, was all the
convincing The Duke needs to check this shit out. Depressing as all hell, by all accounts, but when it’s
Naomi Watts doing the moaning, who the hell cares? Not that The Duke is being sexist, since the
director is a man. He’s got a penis and everything.
50 First Dates
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind is yet to appear on Region 2, so if it’s memory-loss romantic
hi-jinks you’re after, best to make do with this here Adam Sandler / Drew Barrymore effort. It’s the first
time these two have shared the screen since The Wedding Singer, and who would argue the greatness
of the film about Sandler sings some songs and then in one of them he says a fuck-word?
Species – Special Edition
Be honest, you love the fuck out of Species. Yeah, sure, you’ll yack on about how Ran is your favourite
film of all ever, but The Duke knows all there is to know about you, and that includes the fact that up
until 1999, Species was your most rented film of all ever. Then I believe you became quite fond of
There's Something About Mary. Save yourself the extortionate rental fees and buy yourself a damn copy,
would you ever? You can do it here and no one will even know. Plus, it’s a special edition, on account of
it says so on the cover, and also it’s got a shitload of featurettes and no less than two commentaries.
The Godfather – Collectors Edition
If you couldn’t afford to shell out for the deluxe box-set released a while back, then why not pick up this
stand-alone release of the first flick? It’s easily the best of the three, too, despite the fact that folks
wanna yack about the second one was better. Did the second one have Marlon Brando, star of
Superman The Movie? No, it didn’t, so shut the hell up, is what. The sequels arrive in October.
The Lost Boys – Two Disc Special Edition
The Duke has no love whatsoever for the work of Joel Schumacher, so let it be taken as a sign of
immense worth on the film’s behalf that The Lost Boys is very close to my heart. Somewhere around the
liver, if you must know. The pinnacle of the Corey Haim / Corey Feldman pairing, this has more cool bits
than Kurt Russell at the end of The Thing. What’s the damn extras, you say? First, get some
motherfucking manners, and second, the extras include a commentary, a retrospective documentary,
and a bunch of featurettes. Oh, and some deleted shit, too. “It’s just noodles, Michael. You fucking
hippy.”
THX 1138 – The George Lucas Directors Cut
Who the hell else’s Directors Cut was it gonna be? Not content with flinging a bunch a new stuff into
that trilogy he’s always banging on about, here he is adding some CGI touch-ups to his debut feature.
Still, you’re gonna buy it regardless. It also has a load of cool shit on, too, like the inclusion of the
original student-film what spawned it, for example.
Tokyo Godfathers
One of my “Must See Shortly” numbers, this anime flick is apparently something of a masterpiece. If all
you know of anime is some nonsense about possessed sex-limbs and so on, then prepare to be slightly
shocked, since Tokyo Godfathers is in fact about three homeless fellas finding a baby on Christmas Eve.
It’s by the fella what did Ninja Scroll, but that doesn’t mean that snakes are gonna start flying out of
ladies hoo-hah’s left and right.
Tupac – Resurrection
This documentary flick concerning the rapper what sang about Hit ‘Em Up and probably some crap about
Motherfuck takes the same route as Imagine – John Lennon, in that the story is told by Shakur himself,
via archive footage and all that jazz. It’s like he weren’t even dead, which of course is ludicrous, cause
if he were still alive he’d still be releasing albums every two weeks.
The latest in the rather pleasant series of Amazing Drama Series What Come From America, The Duke
has no problem whatsoever in recommending this. The only worrying thing about it is how much one of
them looks like an ever-so-slightly older clone of Jack from Dawsons Creek. Yeah, he was the gay one.
Also, the other one looks a bit like the dad from Happiness who turned out to be a paedophile, would
you believe?
Star Wars Trilogy
Well, this is it. Time to see if the rumours are true, if George really has inserted Hayden Christensen into
the finale of Return Of The Jedi, if he’s added any more CGI dance routines, if he’s decided that it’s
probably best if Darth Vader, and not Obi-Wan, disappears on account of dying. The extras are pretty
similar to last years Indiana Jones set, with the feature length documentary and a disc-full of bonus
stuff. What’s left to be said about Star Wars? Well, I don’t think I’ve heard anyone say “Y’know what?
Leia wasn’t actually all that damn attractive, to be honest.” Maybe they will. Fingers crossed.
The Shawshank Redemption – Ten Year Anniversary Edition
Finally! How come we gotta wait ten years nowadays before we can fling any damn respect at anything?
That kinda shit leads to nothing but suicide, is what. “Oh, I know we didn’t cuddle him much, but we
were waiting for his tenth birthday.” Yeah, well he was nine and a half and he’s got half a head because
of you, you heartless bastards. It’s been worth the wait, though. This has no less than THREE DISCS, one
of them playing host to a two-hour documentary hosted by Mark Kermode. He probably thought they
were gonna talk about The Exorcist again.
This truly makes The Duke happy. Not only is the artwork unbelievably cool, but there’s also a yack-track
from Stephen Jones and Kim Newman, author of Nightmare Movies. This is one of the most grossly
underrated horror flicks of all ever, being a really rather disturbing tale of possession, incest, and
shooting the fuck out of all the family. Seriously, I’m smiling like a man possessed. (The joke is that this is
a film about a man possessed. He doesn’t smile much, though, just gets evil messages through a
walkman, which weren’t even available at the time the film is set. Flash git.)
Amityville 3D – Collectors Edition
Now we’re talking, is what, like in the film with Bruce Willis as the voice of the baby. Amityville 3 may be a
woefully (but very enjoyably) inept slab of nonsense, but this DVD presents not only the regular version,
but the actual proper 3D one too! Also, there’s 3D glasses included, alongside a commentary from Jones
and Newman, as on Part II.
Hard Boiled – Collectors Edition
This isn’t an awful lot different from the original release, barring the improved sound, but if you’ve yet to
purchase a copy of John Woo’s masterpiece, now would be a fine time to do so. It’s got visually-amazing
gunplay hanging from its pores, is what.
Hellraiser Box Set
How unutterably cool is this? This thing comes in an actual puzzle-box like what’s in the film! Don’t spend
too long toying with it though, unless you want a load of hooks flying from out of the walls. The extras are
brilliant, too. It has a commentary on all three flicks (only the first three films are included), and a few
documentaries and so on, but the fourth disc has nothing less than Clive Barkers earlier short films,
Salome and The Forbidden. Jesus Wept!
Jersey Girl
Kevin Smith’s third best flick behind Clerks and Chasing Amy. Like the drunken uncle who used to make
you cry, this is funny, impossible to ignore and it touches you when you least expect it. There’s a special
edition lined up, but in the meantime this has the commentaries and what have you.
La Dolce Vita
One of Felini’s top 3 films, fit to stand alongside La Strada and 81/2 with neither fear nor feelings of
penile ineptitude. This satire of the crazy life of a windswept journalist is very long, for sure, but also
very engrossing and very very essential.
La Haine – Special Edition
For some reason this special edition has an extra called “Scenes In Colour”, which seems awful
pointless to The Duke. It also has a commentary from Mattieu Kassovitz, though, so it already earns
points against Tartan’s other “Special Editions”, which offer only improved audio and a fancy box. This
tale of young hoodlums racing around Paris was shown to parliamentary officials, so accurate was its
portrayal of urban unrest. It’s also cool as all hell.
Spaced – Series 1 & 2 – Definitive Collectors Edition
This box set has all the extras from the already-quite-remarkable previous releases, but adds a third disc
housing none other than an 80 minute documentary. Since I only own series 2, I’m gonna pick this up, but
I’ll curse like fuck about it to the fella behind the till.
Well, same time next month, folks. Regular as the menstrual cycle, is The Duke, unless you’ve gone and
got intimate with that no-good malcontent from up the road.
Thanks folks.
Contact The Duke
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