ON FATALBEAUTY.COM -
THE DUKE LOOKS AT PORN
FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES
THE DUKE LOOKS AT PORN
FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES
Let’s get something out the way first and foremost right about
now – The Duke has never been one to get terribly excited at the
prospect of looking at folks doing some sex, or standing about
naked, maybe making kissy faces, or bending over so as their
arse is in the air and looking around and saying “Come on baby,
I loved your review of that Aliens Versus Predator is the truth
of the matter”.
The Duke finds it all a bit embarrassing.
Certain friends and colleagues and so on have accused me of
having a “puritanical” stance and all sorts of vile nonsense.
No, the answer to it all is that it’s just a bit ridiculous.
But it certainly serves a purpose, if only of the technological
variety. Who the hell do you think is responsible for those
ultra-secure credit card dealings on the web-net, the kind that
ensure you don’t get your fucking life savings hijacked by
terrorists just because you wanted to purchase some Lucio Fulci
off of the Amazonians?
You have porn to thank for your financial security, is what.
So any the hell way, what happened, and what this all relates
to, is that The Duke was invited for to browse the website known
as www.fatalbeauty.com for a period of time, and to sample the
many wares contained therein.
You may have heard all about those Suicide Girl people, the porn-
star types who look like they just stepped out the mosh-pit
after headbutting folks in time to some blood-drenched
performance by the Penile Desecrations or the Necrophile
Thunderfucks or whatever these black metal artists are calling
themselves nowadays. Fatal Beauty shares this idea of gothic
chic, with as much eyeliner and tattoos on display as there are
breasts, sex bits, etc.
What we need to do, for the sake of our sociological and
anthropological appreciation of all this jazz, is to note that
Fatal Beauty, from what I could tell, after spending at least 16
days staring at the screen and rendering myself blind in both
eyes for about 22 minutes a day, exists within the “softcore”
side of things. In other words, folks are certainly gonna be
very very naked, and also, they’re probably going to make
seductive faces and so on, but you don’t have to be worrying
that at any minute a sex-limb is gonna join the party and then
we might be treated to some gynaecological demonstration of some
kind.
Unlike the video a certain young fellow lent The Duke back in
the High School, purporting to be about the life of Mozart, but
no, it was all about the time the composer was working on some
tracks, laying down some new shit, and then took a break for to
have much dirty with a bunch a ladies. Next thing anyone knows,
there’s filthy sex spraying about the place, and all to the
strains of some fine, overblown classical music.
Mind you, it was much more insightful than the Milos Foreman
number.
Fatal Beauty also shares the Mozart film’s love of “the arts”.
To this end, what we get in the gallery attributed to each model
is a bunch a shots that just have maybe their eye, or their
shoulder, or maybe their head but really tiny, like at the
bottom left of the screen, and the rest dominated by a overcast
sky. Far be it from The Duke to suggest, but I’m guessing these
photographical experiments get somewhat overlooked in favour of
frantic battering of the “Next” button for to see when the hell
a nipple might appear.
Maybe after five or six minutes of studying said nipple, or
maybe fifteen if you’re a bit tired, maybe then the arty stuff
gets a look, when a fella might be feeling a bit exhausted and
probably disgusted with himself, and can’t be bothered clicking
anymore fucking buttons.
Screw it, thinks our hypothetical subject, I’ll just look at
this shit right here for a minute, then maybe I’ll clean this up.
Thing is, though, Fatal Beauty costs 4.99 a month for to
subscribe. Now, far as I can tell, via my research in the field
and so on, the web-sites that charge for access to pictures all
about folks get naked tend to be a bit more “hardcore”. In other
words, what happens is you see very tame stuff, and then if you
pay 20 quid and half of a lung, you get to see that same tame
stuff but with added erections, sex-explosions and so on.
Fatal Beauty charges 4.99 for the kinda stuff you see in, say,
FHM or Maxim, or whatever it is you kids buy nowadays on account
of you’re too embarrassed to buy porn.
Obviously, though, if you’re a member (no motherfucking pun
intended), then you get all kinds of kooky benefits, like you
get to join in on discussions and stuff, mostly along the lines
of “Man, that (insert name of model) is so fucking
HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!”, and you also get to have a profile and so on,
all kinds a stuff, hoping, of course, that one of those ladies
will be so impressed by your yacking about how “fucking
HOT!!!!!!!!!!” she is that she’ll look up your profile and get
the first bus to wherever the hell it is you’re crouching at
right now.
But it’s not all ladies, though. There’s a few fellas too, lads
who also have the dyed hair and the piercing and all that gothic
malarkey. A bit like when Pete Steele from Type O Negative posed
for Playgirl. The worst-selling issue of all ever, it turned out.
There’s something pleasingly home-spun about the whole
enterprise, like how most of the people getting all naked and
cold and standing outside a cathedral or such like, they all
seem to know the folks involved. Sometimes you get a bit of text
on the galleries saying shit like “I been trying to get her to
pose for us for weeks”, giving the impression that these people
are all, y’know, “friends”.
A fuck of a lot more interesting than those ones off the TV,
mind you, with their cappuccinos and their will-they, won’t-they
ever get a sex type shenanigans.
It’s also something of an achievement, getting your friends to
partake in this kinda nonsense. How many times has The Duke
thought of approaching somebody and asking them to pose naked
for a while?
Never even once, motherfuckers, so don’t go getting no ideas.
So then, what have we learned from all of this?
If a fella wants to pay five quid a month, knowing full well
that there’s gonna be as much “art” as “arse”, then Fatal Beauty
certainly has the feel of a community about it, and to be
honest, some of these models, well, let’s just say they might be
“fucking HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and leave it at that. Rolling Stone
magazine certainly found it to be worthy of a praise or two,
flinging accolades at it like there’s no tomorrow.
From what The Duke can tell though, if I had to be paying for
some pornographic material, whilst utilising technology that
ensures I can find detailed video footage of every sinful
perversion known to man with just the click of a button in the
direction of Kazaa, I’d expect it to be pretty fucking
astonishing. In saying that, though, the site is rather lovely,
and the photos and stuff are all of exceptionally good quality.
Probably best to click on over and have a browse through the
tour section, before deciding if this is the kinda stuff you
wanna be going to hell for.
Thanks folks.
Drop The Duke A Line
now – The Duke has never been one to get terribly excited at the
prospect of looking at folks doing some sex, or standing about
naked, maybe making kissy faces, or bending over so as their
arse is in the air and looking around and saying “Come on baby,
I loved your review of that Aliens Versus Predator is the truth
of the matter”.
The Duke finds it all a bit embarrassing.
Certain friends and colleagues and so on have accused me of
having a “puritanical” stance and all sorts of vile nonsense.
No, the answer to it all is that it’s just a bit ridiculous.
But it certainly serves a purpose, if only of the technological
variety. Who the hell do you think is responsible for those
ultra-secure credit card dealings on the web-net, the kind that
ensure you don’t get your fucking life savings hijacked by
terrorists just because you wanted to purchase some Lucio Fulci
off of the Amazonians?
You have porn to thank for your financial security, is what.
So any the hell way, what happened, and what this all relates
to, is that The Duke was invited for to browse the website known
as www.fatalbeauty.com for a period of time, and to sample the
many wares contained therein.
You may have heard all about those Suicide Girl people, the porn-
star types who look like they just stepped out the mosh-pit
after headbutting folks in time to some blood-drenched
performance by the Penile Desecrations or the Necrophile
Thunderfucks or whatever these black metal artists are calling
themselves nowadays. Fatal Beauty shares this idea of gothic
chic, with as much eyeliner and tattoos on display as there are
breasts, sex bits, etc.
What we need to do, for the sake of our sociological and
anthropological appreciation of all this jazz, is to note that
Fatal Beauty, from what I could tell, after spending at least 16
days staring at the screen and rendering myself blind in both
eyes for about 22 minutes a day, exists within the “softcore”
side of things. In other words, folks are certainly gonna be
very very naked, and also, they’re probably going to make
seductive faces and so on, but you don’t have to be worrying
that at any minute a sex-limb is gonna join the party and then
we might be treated to some gynaecological demonstration of some
kind.
Unlike the video a certain young fellow lent The Duke back in
the High School, purporting to be about the life of Mozart, but
no, it was all about the time the composer was working on some
tracks, laying down some new shit, and then took a break for to
have much dirty with a bunch a ladies. Next thing anyone knows,
there’s filthy sex spraying about the place, and all to the
strains of some fine, overblown classical music.
Mind you, it was much more insightful than the Milos Foreman
number.
Fatal Beauty also shares the Mozart film’s love of “the arts”.
To this end, what we get in the gallery attributed to each model
is a bunch a shots that just have maybe their eye, or their
shoulder, or maybe their head but really tiny, like at the
bottom left of the screen, and the rest dominated by a overcast
sky. Far be it from The Duke to suggest, but I’m guessing these
photographical experiments get somewhat overlooked in favour of
frantic battering of the “Next” button for to see when the hell
a nipple might appear.
Maybe after five or six minutes of studying said nipple, or
maybe fifteen if you’re a bit tired, maybe then the arty stuff
gets a look, when a fella might be feeling a bit exhausted and
probably disgusted with himself, and can’t be bothered clicking
anymore fucking buttons.
Screw it, thinks our hypothetical subject, I’ll just look at
this shit right here for a minute, then maybe I’ll clean this up.
Thing is, though, Fatal Beauty costs 4.99 a month for to
subscribe. Now, far as I can tell, via my research in the field
and so on, the web-sites that charge for access to pictures all
about folks get naked tend to be a bit more “hardcore”. In other
words, what happens is you see very tame stuff, and then if you
pay 20 quid and half of a lung, you get to see that same tame
stuff but with added erections, sex-explosions and so on.
Fatal Beauty charges 4.99 for the kinda stuff you see in, say,
FHM or Maxim, or whatever it is you kids buy nowadays on account
of you’re too embarrassed to buy porn.
Obviously, though, if you’re a member (no motherfucking pun
intended), then you get all kinds of kooky benefits, like you
get to join in on discussions and stuff, mostly along the lines
of “Man, that (insert name of model) is so fucking
HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!”, and you also get to have a profile and so on,
all kinds a stuff, hoping, of course, that one of those ladies
will be so impressed by your yacking about how “fucking
HOT!!!!!!!!!!” she is that she’ll look up your profile and get
the first bus to wherever the hell it is you’re crouching at
right now.
But it’s not all ladies, though. There’s a few fellas too, lads
who also have the dyed hair and the piercing and all that gothic
malarkey. A bit like when Pete Steele from Type O Negative posed
for Playgirl. The worst-selling issue of all ever, it turned out.
There’s something pleasingly home-spun about the whole
enterprise, like how most of the people getting all naked and
cold and standing outside a cathedral or such like, they all
seem to know the folks involved. Sometimes you get a bit of text
on the galleries saying shit like “I been trying to get her to
pose for us for weeks”, giving the impression that these people
are all, y’know, “friends”.
A fuck of a lot more interesting than those ones off the TV,
mind you, with their cappuccinos and their will-they, won’t-they
ever get a sex type shenanigans.
It’s also something of an achievement, getting your friends to
partake in this kinda nonsense. How many times has The Duke
thought of approaching somebody and asking them to pose naked
for a while?
Never even once, motherfuckers, so don’t go getting no ideas.
So then, what have we learned from all of this?
If a fella wants to pay five quid a month, knowing full well
that there’s gonna be as much “art” as “arse”, then Fatal Beauty
certainly has the feel of a community about it, and to be
honest, some of these models, well, let’s just say they might be
“fucking HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and leave it at that. Rolling Stone
magazine certainly found it to be worthy of a praise or two,
flinging accolades at it like there’s no tomorrow.
From what The Duke can tell though, if I had to be paying for
some pornographic material, whilst utilising technology that
ensures I can find detailed video footage of every sinful
perversion known to man with just the click of a button in the
direction of Kazaa, I’d expect it to be pretty fucking
astonishing. In saying that, though, the site is rather lovely,
and the photos and stuff are all of exceptionally good quality.
Probably best to click on over and have a browse through the
tour section, before deciding if this is the kinda stuff you
wanna be going to hell for.
Thanks folks.
Drop The Duke A Line
