THE DUKE LISTENS TO
BLAH BLAH BLAH...
BY SCUM OF THE EARTH
BLAH BLAH BLAH...
BY SCUM OF THE EARTH
Great Dilemmas In The Life De Duke #435632642
Sometimes a hurdle comes up along the gravel-caked road of a
fella’s existence, a hurdle unwieldy enough to knock him
sideways, most likely with legs bent out of shape and at least
forty gallons of blood spraying amidst the bones poking from both
knees. Maybe a fella discovers he likes a Joel Schumacher film,
and has to work with at least millions of councillors,
professionals, druids, for to decide what the hell is to be done
about the hitherto unthinkable situation.
The Duke experienced just such a dilemma of late, following the
arrival of Blah Blah Blah… Love Songs For The New Millennium by
Scum Of The Earth, the band fronted by Rob Zombie guitarist
Riggs. What had to be done in order to sort this dilemma, was
that last night, following a viewing of the ridiculously
entertaining Secret Window (Johnny Depp’s finest comedy
performance since Ed Wood, don’t you know?), The Duke turned to
The Duchess and, after pressing play for to let a track from the
record in question assault our post-Depp beings, asked for the
answer to the perplexing question;
“It’s good”, sayeth the motherfucking Duke. “It’s very good. It’s
loud, it rocks, it’s inventive, it’s got cool remix technology
and all sorts…”
“So what the hell might be the motherfucking problem?” asks The
Duchess.
“Well… It’s kinda just a Rob Zombie record without Rob Zombie.”
Herein, my friends, lies the problem. The vocals sound like Rob
Zombie. Naturally enough, the guitars and so on sound like they
were lifted from a Rob Zombie record. The use of samples from the
b-movies and such positively screams Rob Zombie.
So what’s a fella to do? Should The Duke ignore all else and
simply tut and shake the head and so on and say “Fuck that shit,
it’s just using all Rob Zombie’s ideas”?
What The Duchess said was; “But do you like it?”
“Like it?” responds The Duke? “It fucking rules.”
Well there you damn well go.
Scum Of The Earth fucking rule. They sound exactly the same as
Rob Zombie, but if truth be told, The Duke had something of an
awakening regarding the dreadlocked motherfucker some time ago,
and this newfound clarity of vision may well influence the vote
regarding the whole “they fucking rule” referendum. Having
previously said things like “Yeah, he’s alright. A bit dull. And
really, that House With A Lot Of Corpses or whatever was a load
of shit”, now The Duke’s mindset, aided with a rash of impulse-
purchased CD’s, compilations and so on, plus the “load of shit”
House With Lots Of Corpses, tends to slide towards the notion
that really, that Rob Zombie is a genius.
What Scum Of The Earth provide, since Zombie himself is off
making House With Even More Corpses Than The First One, Which Had
Lots, If You Recall, is a record that has the same spirit, the
same gleeful love of the bizarre and the dirty as, say, Hellbilly
Deluxe, and that right there is a blessing.
And any the hell how, you gotta love a record that has a cover
version of Queen’s We Will Rock You, retitled Pornstar Champion,
and with the lyrics of the verse altered so as they read;
“God damn Hotrod, legs to the sky,
With your back on the bar and your mouth open wide,
Guilt on your face, big disgrace,
Victim written all over your face.”
Opener, I Am The Scum is a sleazy, filthy blast of distortion-
drenched riffs and beats and hollerings about “I am the demon
freak / A monster I created”, topped off with a sample wherein a
fella yacks about “Teenage Psychos!... Beautiful girls! Violated!”
It’s all very drive-in, all very grindhouse.
There ain’t much here that lets the side down, from the glam-rock
stomps of Get Your Dead On, to the acoustic Little Spider (the
intro of which sounds a bit like Unforgiven by, I think,
Megadeth), and even the Marilyn Manson-aping Murder Song.
Everything’s a barrel of hilarity, and if you get bored you can
even fiddle with the production and so on.
Blah Blah Blah…, y’see, is the first record to feature the umixit
technology, meaning that if you think the drums should be louder,
or if the vocals are a bit high in the mix, then you can prattle
around with it all till your hearts content. It’s also handy for
folks who maybe wanna stip the vocals clean and do a remix or
two, like that Dangerous Rodent fella who mixed the Metallica and
the Tupac.
Also, the inlay is wonderful, filled with the kinda monsters and
sketches and naked ladies and garish 70’s design you might find
in, well, a White Zombie record.
The only complaint you might feasibly have is that the whole
thing is so indebted to the aforementioned Zombie and Manson that
it struggles to find its own identity. It feels like a stop-gap
until the next Zombie opus arrives, but in saying that, it’s
impossible to dig this funky shit.
This really is marvellous stuff, just nothing you ain’t heard
before, really. Still, when was the last time a guitarist went
off and made a record and it turned out this good? How long did
it take Slash to make a decent record after leaving Poison or
whoever the fuck? Like, a million years, I’m guessing.
Can you imagine if, say, the fella from Coldplay who isn’t
married to Gwyneth Paltrow went off and made a record? Far be it
from The Duke to speculate, but I’m guessing it would be utter
cack. Get the fuck back to The Coldplays, you’d say.
And even if it does sound like the best record Rob never made, at
least these folks acknowledge the similarities. “I’m really proud
of the work I did with Rob”, says Riggs, “So I don’t mind being
compared to him. As long as people don’t say Scum sounds like
something that sucks.”
The Duke’s betting no-one will ever in their lives even once
assume this sounds remotely sucky. It fucking rocks, is the truth
of the matter.
Thanks folks.
Drop The Duke A Line
Sometimes a hurdle comes up along the gravel-caked road of a
fella’s existence, a hurdle unwieldy enough to knock him
sideways, most likely with legs bent out of shape and at least
forty gallons of blood spraying amidst the bones poking from both
knees. Maybe a fella discovers he likes a Joel Schumacher film,
and has to work with at least millions of councillors,
professionals, druids, for to decide what the hell is to be done
about the hitherto unthinkable situation.
The Duke experienced just such a dilemma of late, following the
arrival of Blah Blah Blah… Love Songs For The New Millennium by
Scum Of The Earth, the band fronted by Rob Zombie guitarist
Riggs. What had to be done in order to sort this dilemma, was
that last night, following a viewing of the ridiculously
entertaining Secret Window (Johnny Depp’s finest comedy
performance since Ed Wood, don’t you know?), The Duke turned to
The Duchess and, after pressing play for to let a track from the
record in question assault our post-Depp beings, asked for the
answer to the perplexing question;
“It’s good”, sayeth the motherfucking Duke. “It’s very good. It’s
loud, it rocks, it’s inventive, it’s got cool remix technology
and all sorts…”
“So what the hell might be the motherfucking problem?” asks The
Duchess.
“Well… It’s kinda just a Rob Zombie record without Rob Zombie.”
Herein, my friends, lies the problem. The vocals sound like Rob
Zombie. Naturally enough, the guitars and so on sound like they
were lifted from a Rob Zombie record. The use of samples from the
b-movies and such positively screams Rob Zombie.
So what’s a fella to do? Should The Duke ignore all else and
simply tut and shake the head and so on and say “Fuck that shit,
it’s just using all Rob Zombie’s ideas”?
What The Duchess said was; “But do you like it?”
“Like it?” responds The Duke? “It fucking rules.”
Well there you damn well go.
Scum Of The Earth fucking rule. They sound exactly the same as
Rob Zombie, but if truth be told, The Duke had something of an
awakening regarding the dreadlocked motherfucker some time ago,
and this newfound clarity of vision may well influence the vote
regarding the whole “they fucking rule” referendum. Having
previously said things like “Yeah, he’s alright. A bit dull. And
really, that House With A Lot Of Corpses or whatever was a load
of shit”, now The Duke’s mindset, aided with a rash of impulse-
purchased CD’s, compilations and so on, plus the “load of shit”
House With Lots Of Corpses, tends to slide towards the notion
that really, that Rob Zombie is a genius.
What Scum Of The Earth provide, since Zombie himself is off
making House With Even More Corpses Than The First One, Which Had
Lots, If You Recall, is a record that has the same spirit, the
same gleeful love of the bizarre and the dirty as, say, Hellbilly
Deluxe, and that right there is a blessing.
And any the hell how, you gotta love a record that has a cover
version of Queen’s We Will Rock You, retitled Pornstar Champion,
and with the lyrics of the verse altered so as they read;
“God damn Hotrod, legs to the sky,
With your back on the bar and your mouth open wide,
Guilt on your face, big disgrace,
Victim written all over your face.”
Opener, I Am The Scum is a sleazy, filthy blast of distortion-
drenched riffs and beats and hollerings about “I am the demon
freak / A monster I created”, topped off with a sample wherein a
fella yacks about “Teenage Psychos!... Beautiful girls! Violated!”
It’s all very drive-in, all very grindhouse.
There ain’t much here that lets the side down, from the glam-rock
stomps of Get Your Dead On, to the acoustic Little Spider (the
intro of which sounds a bit like Unforgiven by, I think,
Megadeth), and even the Marilyn Manson-aping Murder Song.
Everything’s a barrel of hilarity, and if you get bored you can
even fiddle with the production and so on.
Blah Blah Blah…, y’see, is the first record to feature the umixit
technology, meaning that if you think the drums should be louder,
or if the vocals are a bit high in the mix, then you can prattle
around with it all till your hearts content. It’s also handy for
folks who maybe wanna stip the vocals clean and do a remix or
two, like that Dangerous Rodent fella who mixed the Metallica and
the Tupac.
Also, the inlay is wonderful, filled with the kinda monsters and
sketches and naked ladies and garish 70’s design you might find
in, well, a White Zombie record.
The only complaint you might feasibly have is that the whole
thing is so indebted to the aforementioned Zombie and Manson that
it struggles to find its own identity. It feels like a stop-gap
until the next Zombie opus arrives, but in saying that, it’s
impossible to dig this funky shit.
This really is marvellous stuff, just nothing you ain’t heard
before, really. Still, when was the last time a guitarist went
off and made a record and it turned out this good? How long did
it take Slash to make a decent record after leaving Poison or
whoever the fuck? Like, a million years, I’m guessing.
Can you imagine if, say, the fella from Coldplay who isn’t
married to Gwyneth Paltrow went off and made a record? Far be it
from The Duke to speculate, but I’m guessing it would be utter
cack. Get the fuck back to The Coldplays, you’d say.
And even if it does sound like the best record Rob never made, at
least these folks acknowledge the similarities. “I’m really proud
of the work I did with Rob”, says Riggs, “So I don’t mind being
compared to him. As long as people don’t say Scum sounds like
something that sucks.”
The Duke’s betting no-one will ever in their lives even once
assume this sounds remotely sucky. It fucking rocks, is the truth
of the matter.
Thanks folks.
Drop The Duke A Line
