THE DUKE ON
SEED OF CHUCKY
SEED OF CHUCKY
Back in the day, being the day just around 16th October 1998, a
flick bounded forth from Hollywood that went ahead and kicked the
bejeesus out of everything either side on the release schedules.
Screw you Pi, said this particular motion-film. I don’t give
someone else's shit that you have a fella doing some number
counting and then maybe drilling a hole in his head. And as for
Buffallo 66, well, you can just get the first damn bus to nobody
gives a flying gypsy’s fuck.
Lethal Weapon 4? I laugh in the face of Lethal Weapon 4, is what.
You’re too old for this shit, Lethal Weapon 4, best get the hell
out of town before you start talking about the war and pissing
yourself.
flick bounded forth from Hollywood that went ahead and kicked the
bejeesus out of everything either side on the release schedules.
Screw you Pi, said this particular motion-film. I don’t give
someone else's shit that you have a fella doing some number
counting and then maybe drilling a hole in his head. And as for
Buffallo 66, well, you can just get the first damn bus to nobody
gives a flying gypsy’s fuck.
Lethal Weapon 4? I laugh in the face of Lethal Weapon 4, is what.
You’re too old for this shit, Lethal Weapon 4, best get the hell
out of town before you start talking about the war and pissing
yourself.
The identity of this mystery flick was revealed as nothing less
than Bride Of Chucky, the fourth number in the Child’s Play
franchise, dealing with a smart-ass doll that likes nothing more
than to maybe stab folks in the heel and laugh and laugh and say
fuck.
Bride Of Chucky ruled on so many levels that I’m guessing even
Stephen Hawkins is still trying to tie them all together in some
unified theory of some kind. It was funny, it was ironic, it was
gory, it was inventive, it had Jennifer Tilly, but most of all,
it had two dolls having a sex or two.
Director Ronny Yu and scribbler Don Mancini, who had written
every damn syllable of the series, conspired to produce just
about the finest killer dolls on the run flick ever made. Ronny
Yu, of course, had fine-tuned his craft with both Bride With
White Hair films, and also Warriors of Virtue, about youngsters
and such doing the fighting and the flying.
Post-Bride, Yu also went on to do the utterly fantastic Freddy
Versus Jason. Don Mancini, however, took the shimmering sphere
of opportunity and set about directing his first ever flick,
being a sequel to Bride Of Chucky, A.K.MOTHERFUCKING.A Seed Of
Chucky.
What happened at the end of Bride, was that on account of a load
of sexes between the dolls, Tiffany gave birth, although it’s
all very confusing what with the thunder and the lightening and
the dolls trying to kill each other.
Seed Of Chucky goes about revealing that the offspring, being a
fella named Shitface, is having to work for a biker
ventriloquist sonnabitch in Glastonbury by pretending to be an
ordinary every-day doll, which of course he isn’t, since he’s
the brood of Chucky for God’s sakes, most likely he’ll cut the
biker’s damn head off.
But no, he doesn’t know what the sweet Matilda’s goin’ on. He
has dreams and such about violent murder, but doesn’t know where
it’s coming from. Also, he looks like Ziggy Stardust-era David
Bowie, on account of the joke is how he’s androgynous and all
that, don’t know if he’s a fella or a lass, a Glen or a Glenda.
Also, he assumes he's Japanese, since all he knows of his
heritage is that he was Made In Japan, as it says around his
wrist.
Anyhow, turns out that Chucky and Tiffany are in the middle of
filming a Hollywood horror pic based on their adventures,
starring none other than Jennifer Tilly. Alas, our plastic
lovers are still inanimate, so thank God Shitface makes it to
Hollywood and reads out that “ooh ey dumbela” malarkey.
What occurs then is a kinda satire of Hollywood and such,
although it’s more a satire of Jennifer Tilly, who proves once
more that she rules beyond reason by playing herself as a
complete slut, arranging sexes with Redman so as she can play
the Virgin Mary in his upcoming religious epic.
Jennifer Tilly is just a motherfucking Goddess, is all there is
to it. In fact, I’m guessing that if Kirsten Dunst was never
invented, God forbid, we’d be living in a world were Jennifer
Tilly is the best actress ever to have acted in an actorly
manner. I’m guessing you saw Woody Allen’s masterpiece, Bullets
Over Broadway? You’ll note that Jennifer was fantastic. And what
about Bound, where she had a sex with a lady, a lady of her own
gender no less. Probably you didn’t give much attention to the
performances outside of that particular bit, and probably the
VHS copy you have is picture perfect until that scene when
suddenly it’s awash with grain and corruption, but note that the
folks what did it (as in the film, not the same-sex sexing
sexes) went on to make some film about The Matrixes or
something, and you’ll note that, far as I remember, nobody ever
heard of it. The reason is because there was no Jennifer Tilly.
In conclusion, then, Jennifer Tilly rules.
And of course, in Seed Of Chucky you get not one, but two
Jennifer Tilly’s, since you’ll remember that she does the voice
for Tiffany. In an act of Plato-esque genius, Mancini has made
Tiffany Jennifer Tilly’s No. 1 fan, so we get loads of jokes
about how she loves her, and Chucky says about oh for God’s
sakes, her voice is fucking intolerable and so on and so forth.
Other things that result in Seed Of Chucky being a work of
impeccable wonder;
It opens with a whole Looks Who’s Talking type semen exodus,
starting inside Chucky’s plastic nuts and flying around inside
the plastic hoo-hah of his lady-doll. It’s highly amusing.
It has the best Shining joke since the Simpsons spoof a few
hundred Halloween’s ago.
It’s the only film about a doll doesn’t know if it’s a bloke or
a lass that I ever remember seeing. Chucky calls him Glen,
Tiffany calls him Glenda, just like the Ed Wood masterpiece,
although there’s no scenes where the doll lies about on a sofa
as a series of dancing ladies parade through the room. Points
lost there, Seed Of Chucky.
However, for some unknown reason, Seed Of Chucky falls just
short of Bride. The kid is a bit of a disappointment, truth be
told. For sure, he looks like Bowie and he don’t know if he’s
supposed to give or take, but he’s still ever so slightly
annoying sometimes. Also, whilst it’s very smart and very funny
for the most part, it’s not just as funny nor smart as the
predecessor.
But it still rules, and since Seed, for obvious reasons, has to
make do without the talents of the much missed John Ritter, its
consistent brilliance is even more of a triumph. It feels like a
more comedic reprise of Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, but yet it
doesn’t get lost in it’s own smart-arsery.
Neither did New Nightmare, incidentally. That flick was a
motherfucking masterpiece, and you can thank it for all those
films about “boy, this is just like a horror movie” and such.
New Nightmare was a dry run for Craven’s Scream, but it betters
it, is the truth of the matter.
Anyway, Seed Of Chucky is brilliant. A fuck of a lot better than
the part three, when Chucky went to Military School, that’s for
damn sure. And thank god Mancini had the good sense to get rid
of that Andy character when he was scribbling Bride.
Fuck you Andy.
Thanks folks.
Further Reading;
The Duke Waxes Chucky With Don Mancini
Drop The Duke A Line Via Electronical Email
than Bride Of Chucky, the fourth number in the Child’s Play
franchise, dealing with a smart-ass doll that likes nothing more
than to maybe stab folks in the heel and laugh and laugh and say
fuck.
Bride Of Chucky ruled on so many levels that I’m guessing even
Stephen Hawkins is still trying to tie them all together in some
unified theory of some kind. It was funny, it was ironic, it was
gory, it was inventive, it had Jennifer Tilly, but most of all,
it had two dolls having a sex or two.
Director Ronny Yu and scribbler Don Mancini, who had written
every damn syllable of the series, conspired to produce just
about the finest killer dolls on the run flick ever made. Ronny
Yu, of course, had fine-tuned his craft with both Bride With
White Hair films, and also Warriors of Virtue, about youngsters
and such doing the fighting and the flying.
Post-Bride, Yu also went on to do the utterly fantastic Freddy
Versus Jason. Don Mancini, however, took the shimmering sphere
of opportunity and set about directing his first ever flick,
being a sequel to Bride Of Chucky, A.K.MOTHERFUCKING.A Seed Of
Chucky.
What happened at the end of Bride, was that on account of a load
of sexes between the dolls, Tiffany gave birth, although it’s
all very confusing what with the thunder and the lightening and
the dolls trying to kill each other.
Seed Of Chucky goes about revealing that the offspring, being a
fella named Shitface, is having to work for a biker
ventriloquist sonnabitch in Glastonbury by pretending to be an
ordinary every-day doll, which of course he isn’t, since he’s
the brood of Chucky for God’s sakes, most likely he’ll cut the
biker’s damn head off.
But no, he doesn’t know what the sweet Matilda’s goin’ on. He
has dreams and such about violent murder, but doesn’t know where
it’s coming from. Also, he looks like Ziggy Stardust-era David
Bowie, on account of the joke is how he’s androgynous and all
that, don’t know if he’s a fella or a lass, a Glen or a Glenda.
Also, he assumes he's Japanese, since all he knows of his
heritage is that he was Made In Japan, as it says around his
wrist.
Anyhow, turns out that Chucky and Tiffany are in the middle of
filming a Hollywood horror pic based on their adventures,
starring none other than Jennifer Tilly. Alas, our plastic
lovers are still inanimate, so thank God Shitface makes it to
Hollywood and reads out that “ooh ey dumbela” malarkey.
What occurs then is a kinda satire of Hollywood and such,
although it’s more a satire of Jennifer Tilly, who proves once
more that she rules beyond reason by playing herself as a
complete slut, arranging sexes with Redman so as she can play
the Virgin Mary in his upcoming religious epic.
Jennifer Tilly is just a motherfucking Goddess, is all there is
to it. In fact, I’m guessing that if Kirsten Dunst was never
invented, God forbid, we’d be living in a world were Jennifer
Tilly is the best actress ever to have acted in an actorly
manner. I’m guessing you saw Woody Allen’s masterpiece, Bullets
Over Broadway? You’ll note that Jennifer was fantastic. And what
about Bound, where she had a sex with a lady, a lady of her own
gender no less. Probably you didn’t give much attention to the
performances outside of that particular bit, and probably the
VHS copy you have is picture perfect until that scene when
suddenly it’s awash with grain and corruption, but note that the
folks what did it (as in the film, not the same-sex sexing
sexes) went on to make some film about The Matrixes or
something, and you’ll note that, far as I remember, nobody ever
heard of it. The reason is because there was no Jennifer Tilly.
In conclusion, then, Jennifer Tilly rules.
And of course, in Seed Of Chucky you get not one, but two
Jennifer Tilly’s, since you’ll remember that she does the voice
for Tiffany. In an act of Plato-esque genius, Mancini has made
Tiffany Jennifer Tilly’s No. 1 fan, so we get loads of jokes
about how she loves her, and Chucky says about oh for God’s
sakes, her voice is fucking intolerable and so on and so forth.
Other things that result in Seed Of Chucky being a work of
impeccable wonder;
It opens with a whole Looks Who’s Talking type semen exodus,
starting inside Chucky’s plastic nuts and flying around inside
the plastic hoo-hah of his lady-doll. It’s highly amusing.
It has the best Shining joke since the Simpsons spoof a few
hundred Halloween’s ago.
It’s the only film about a doll doesn’t know if it’s a bloke or
a lass that I ever remember seeing. Chucky calls him Glen,
Tiffany calls him Glenda, just like the Ed Wood masterpiece,
although there’s no scenes where the doll lies about on a sofa
as a series of dancing ladies parade through the room. Points
lost there, Seed Of Chucky.
However, for some unknown reason, Seed Of Chucky falls just
short of Bride. The kid is a bit of a disappointment, truth be
told. For sure, he looks like Bowie and he don’t know if he’s
supposed to give or take, but he’s still ever so slightly
annoying sometimes. Also, whilst it’s very smart and very funny
for the most part, it’s not just as funny nor smart as the
predecessor.
But it still rules, and since Seed, for obvious reasons, has to
make do without the talents of the much missed John Ritter, its
consistent brilliance is even more of a triumph. It feels like a
more comedic reprise of Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, but yet it
doesn’t get lost in it’s own smart-arsery.
Neither did New Nightmare, incidentally. That flick was a
motherfucking masterpiece, and you can thank it for all those
films about “boy, this is just like a horror movie” and such.
New Nightmare was a dry run for Craven’s Scream, but it betters
it, is the truth of the matter.
Anyway, Seed Of Chucky is brilliant. A fuck of a lot better than
the part three, when Chucky went to Military School, that’s for
damn sure. And thank god Mancini had the good sense to get rid
of that Andy character when he was scribbling Bride.
Fuck you Andy.
Thanks folks.
Further Reading;
The Duke Waxes Chucky With Don Mancini
Drop The Duke A Line Via Electronical Email
